last words ending the tenure

i dont know whether this is the right time to speak about this matter.. 
but i guess i have to say something..

it was the hardest decision that i have to make as i remembered... if u guys think that i made the decision without considering anything, not it was not. it troubled me for months and even after the decision made i was still unsure of my decisions. i was thinking hard on it. some may be aware on my changes as a result that i was really affected on it.
it concerns on my beloved friend whom i respected and saluted.. he is the best in his work and i cannot deny on his good work and abilities. i cannot be thankful enough on what he has done, his big contributions.. never in my mind to be zalim on him or not giving him what he supposed to get.. because i had a friend, my bestfriend who was also experiencing the same thing 2 years ago.. the most painful thing had happened on him.. org2 lama mesti paham sape yg sy maksudkan dan aware hubungan yg macam mana yg sy ada dgn dia.. logic thinking, xkan sy nk ulang balik kejadian yg sama..

however, i have to be fair with others too. i cannot deny the rights that the others can get too.. i'm doings things according to the procedures and the requirements also syura with others.. everyone on the team given their agreement..

but i believed on qadak and qadar. everything have been determined by Allah. if it is belong to him, surely no matter what happens, its going to be him. if its not belong to him, no matter how i want it to be him, its not going to be happen also without Allah's will. 

and i also know, because of this i lost a meaningful friend to mine. n also know because of this also everyone put a hatred feeling to me that i need to bear and assumed me negatively which some of them are not true. cth talam dua muka, betrayer and other things..

apologies deeply from my heart.. anything that troubled u, please come direct to me. 

thank you.

WAJADIRI NASIONAL 2014; silat cekak hanafi

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

This semester i'm taking an elective course, Sport Psychology. it is kind of interesting to know what sport psychology is. and interestingly since i am also involved in sport particularly in martial art, i am very eager to know how can I contribute back to my team and to the club (Persatuan Seni Silat Cekak Hanafi IIUM). Furthermore, i am also entitled as one of the coaches to teach this martial art to the students.

So far, what i have been learning in class, which one of them is motivation aspect, i think it was somehow very important to the martial artist, especially to those who always involved in competition and tournament, and not to forget to those who always be in the demonstration or performance team.

reminiscing back my experience when i involved in national tournament this year in University Terengganu Malaysia and years before (UTP and others), there were so much aspects that made me realized how important it is to work hard, put your heart into it, have a great team and partner as well as supporting coaches. even though this year tournament was not my first time, however, i still have the biggest butterfly in my stomach during the tournament.

i think the most puzzled thing for me was every time i entered a tournament, my performance during my training time was 2 times or in fact three times better than in the actual day tournament.

the feeling when u don't even think that there were people in your surrounding.

i guess it may be due to much anxiety or maybe i don't have the appropriate level of anxiety (or not being anxious at all) that i should have before i start my 'fight'.

that made me think that you should have at least a bit of anxiety and not be overly confident (i'm not being overconfident though) so that you can always be an a'bid (Allah's servant) whom always looks up for HIM to grant you wishes and greatly hoping that He would give you the best outcome. Of course after you have been implemented the 'ikhtiar', the efforts, du'a and lastly being tawakkal. i strongly believe in that.

what happened was when i felt nervous during the competition, i know that everything would be okay. when i felt nervous, i gain my confidence. i guess by being nervous it helps me to have a positive self thought due to my past experiences. based on previous experiences, i realized that, if i have the appropriate level of nervousness and anxiety then usually the outcome will be good compared to when i didnt feel nervous. however, it was bit dangerous if at that moment i cant control my anxiety where later the outcome will be different.

and Alhamdulillah, me and my partner were able to bring back Gold Medal this year for our university. even though we were not able to get IIUM to be the best university in the tournament, but we are still thankful enough.

one of the best days of my life, i was was also received the award of the Best Martial Artist of Silat Cekak Hanafi in National Level (Women), somehow like that. i was given the award of Pesilat Harapan Wanita Negara (IPT). 

i was not even the closest expected candidate to won the award since there were too many people from other teams of other universities that are more worth it and deserve the award. not too look far, there are even better people in my team. it may be just my luck to being chosen.

thousand of thanks especially to my partner (kak Izzati Kamaruddin, also a Psychology major). she was the best among the best and i think without her i won't be able to get this opportunity. i was always think that the medal is for her.

major factor that may contribute to my confidence level and motivation undergo consistent training was the fact that i have a really wonderful training partner. Kak Izzati always made me think that i am capable to do what we supposed to do for the competition. before this, i always thought that i am not good at all compared to the others teammates. our trainings was never felt like a 'hell' , neither i'm regretting or whining about it even though you could see all the bruises all over our bodies. during the period before the tournament, i always looked up when is the next training schedule with her.

the happiness that was shared together. that was the sweetest moment.

i was also being called as 'kain buruk'  by our coaches due to our severe trainings.. kain buruk yg dilipat-lipat, dicampak-campak, diputar-putar macam kain buruk. luckily we never had head injury or break any parts of the body (exaggerating, of course). also, luckily we have never stabbed each other with the knife since we are using the knife as the weapon in the tournament. weapon?? lol.. haha.

it was so much excitement when thinking about it again since it will be my last tournament as i will be graduating soon. now focusing on being the coach and transfer the little knowledge that i have. I also hope that i can implement what ever i have been learning in the Sport Psychology courses to the martial art classes.

cant wait for the next Sport psyc class. and prepare some tissues cuz Dr Hari likes to make us cry.. haha. just kidding. (^_^).

Here are some of the pictures during the few last tournaments. 

acara papan sekeping

the bonding that we have, the joy that we shared, the happiness that everyone felt.

 

last semester in UIA; the beginning

Salaam..
it has been so long after my last post. i'm not a person who write well nor speak well..

from the first day of this sem till today, i have done too many behaviors that are not supposed to be shown.. haha.. i become clumsier than ever, become lazier than ever, ineffective in certain tasks and the perfect word for my situation now is i'm demotivated. losing the motivation to keep continuing what i do..
or u can say, highly depressed?

problems? yup! everyone do have problems. but perhaps the level of the stressors/problems vary on each and everyone or perhaps ur coping strategies are not good enough. 

i no longer the student who do tasks well, who perform well..
(i'm talking about the outcome here)

sebelum ni, setakat 3 meeting dalam satu hari tak termasuknya dengan discussion for group asssignments tak ada hal la.. walaupun fizikal penat tapi mental proses jalan elok lagi.. seblum ni, 2-3 program serentak aku kena handle, hasilnya as hoped. ok sahaja alhamdulillah!  sebelum ni, mampu pergi training silat tiap2 malam lepas habis discussion/meeting sampai kul 1 pagi, esoknya pergi kelas macam biasa je.. belum lagi aktiviti-aktiviti lain macam jadi research assistant, kerja part time sambil2, jadi mainboard untuk 2 organisasi kelab, dengan ambik 21 credit hournya...

nak cerita benda lama memang senang.. tapi masih tidak membantu meng'up'kan diri yang tengah 'down' ni.  mungkin jiwanya sudah tiada.. maybe no more passion left.. semangat yang hilang. hurm!


the best thing is now i'm a final year student but until now i still do not know what i want to do for my future. to those who know what u want to do, and already working on it, i am very jealous of u!! all the best guys!

i realized my problems and i realized the overt behaviors and thoughts that resulted from it. but i still do have hope to recover to my initial state.. be the usual and extraordinary FENI..

this post might seems stressful to u or giving u a perception how depressing i am but
the reason for this post is that after some times i can take a look on this post and say " hey, i really did an amazing job on getting back on my legs and leave all those negativity"

i hope someday i can say it proudly that i have gone through some downturn of my life..

ameen ya rabbal a'lamin..

wanna give-up while doing assignments/projects?

while trying to do ur assignments

~u feel blank

~u dont know where to start

~u feel like u dont know or understand anything

~u feel it is soooo hard

~u feel like why on earth the lecturer give us that assignment

~u feel like want to cry cuz its almost due.

~u feel like u want to give up

it is because u havent spend ur time yet exploring what the assignment is all about, or u havent getting some ideas on it, or not yet reading other people's work on it and others..

-dont be panic, dont give up, take a deep breath, selawat n zikir, empty ur mind, think that Allah will help us and start browsing/googling.. inshaa Allah. u will get some insight on ur work.

#feni semangat!!! semua pun semangat!!

treasure!

the biggest problem in me is that i might seem as a very friendly person, do have many friends etc. 

but what most people do not know is tht i hardly can open my heart to any friend or u can say as having a bestfriend. only with my bestfriend i would share my biggest secret tht nobody can know about it. 

once i open my heart to that friend, i will treasure her/him like i do not hv anyone else in this world and i will treasure him/her lillahi taala. 

inshaa Allah. 

ukhuwah fillah abadan abada. 

just a short note for u my friend

so as to ease ur heart. ^^

melekat dgn COMRADE & masuk prkmpungan org asli?

kenapa aku melekat ngn COMRADE & suka masuk kg org asli brbanding join kelab2 lain.. smpai ramai yg kata aku pun dh mcm org asli.. haha..

1) sbb aku suka outdoor activity/ adventure/ panjat bukit gunung/ masuk hutan..tgk keindahan alam, cari sungai dn semuanya la.... -> masuk kg org asli mmg adventure, suma ada.. masuk hutan selama 5 jam yg dikatakn prjalanan hanya mengambil masa setengah jam oleh penduduk asal (pergh mcm kene troll), daki turun bukit sambil bwk tong gas, kuali, periuk..mmg stamina kene tinggi ar.. xde masa nk ternak lemak dlm kg org asli.. so xyah susah nk cari kelab2 lain.. semuanya in-1.. haha..

2) sbb aku rasa cam aku suka sket ar kt bdk2..-> masuk kg orang asli pun ada byk bdk2.. comel2 semua.. yg xpaham bahasa melayu pun ramai.. best x communicate ngn bdk yg xbelum pandai bahasa melayu lg? haha..bdk2 yg lain dr apa yg korang slalu jumpa kt bandar.. mmg cabaran la sbb cara approach kene lain dr bdk2 kat tmpat lain.. sgt pure dan innnocent adik2 ni..

3) nk rasa kehidupan dlm kg sbb aku duk bandar je -> mmg rasa dlm kg betul.. makanan suma organic.. cara masak pun tradisional.. duduk atas rumah buluh (dpt rasa air-cond semulajd) dlm rumah ada kayu api.. makan nasi padi bukit plak tu.. sedap gler.. menu simple je, ikan masin, pucuk ubi tp menyegat.. huuu.. mmg sedap..

4) nk improve communication skill dan berorganisasi.. -> communication skill yg aku kene balajar bkn stakat dgn org2 besar, tp org2 kg yg mungkin pemikirannya tidak sama seperti kita... pantang larang yg harus dijaga, cara berkmunikasi yg harus juga dijaga dsbg.. byk aku blajar..handle program dmana smuanya buat sndiri..student masak sndiri tiap hari seminggu kt kg.. dpt la jgk skill memasak.. stakat ni dh bolehla potong bwg. hahaha...

5) terasa mcm nk berdakwah tp rasa x layak, ilmu x tinggi mana -> masuk kg org asli, target grup kita ni ajar simple2 pun xpe.. ajar basic fardhu ain pun dah cukup, ajar baca al-fatihah pun dh ok.. ajar sebut nama Allah pun dh ok. susah2 sgt nk ajar pun, da'wah bil hal pun dh okay, tunjukkan akhlak baik dpan dorang.. pd masa yg sama, aku pun blaja byk.. so, kat sini aku rasa aku masih boleh contribute sumting la walaupun ilmu agama xtinggi mana.. tp kene pastikn apa yg dsmpaikn tu diyakini betul la ^^

6) sbb aku suka dpt keluarga baru, ukhuwah baru -> masuk kg org asli, dpt byk keluarga angkat, klu kamceng ngn kluarga angkat, mmg dorang layan cam ank sendiri la.. xcaye? hehe... pastu ukhuwah ngn kawan2 akan lebih terjalin erat sbb kita berprogram brsama seminggu.. di tmpt asing tu, yg ada kita dan kwn2 kita je.. nk x nak kene percaya dan support diri masing2.. perjalanan yg dilalui di kg juga amat mencabar.. sbb tu bdk2 comrade ukhuwahnya sgt rapat kot..

byk lg sbnrnye reason yg ada.. :)
pelbagai erti dan makna kehidupan aku balajar dr golongan masyarakat org asli ni.. kdg2 buat aku sedar yg cukup bersyukur kah kita kpd Allah atas segala nikmat yg dberi.. huhu..
semoga setiap perjalanan yg penah kita lalui mendapat keredhaan dr Allah (^_^)

COMRADE: ipta Lebir, Kltn (18-25 April 2011) ; part 1

"nak ikut gi satu program ni x? bdk2 dia sgt best..."

aku pun jawab dgn nada yg sgt teruja sbb aku suka bdk2 (kot), "kat mane? program ape? nak nak! "

"ok, nanti pape sy bagtau.. no brape?" ..

" 019-xxxxxxx", jawab aku kpd seorang pemuda yg br2 sahaja dikenali dlm program kecemerlangan sk senai di johor.. 

perbualan prtama aku bersama dia tanpa ber-taaruf terus berbicara mengenai satu program yg mengubah hidup aku.. tanpa ada prasaan pelik atau awkward atau segan dan sewaktu dgnnya apabila seorang lelaki yg kita x kenal pun meminta no dan mengajak aku mengikuti program tersebut, aku terus menjawab prtanyaannya dan tanpa brfikir dua kali aku terus menerima ajakannya utk mengikuti prog itu..

kalau org lain mesti rasa pelik, kan? mungkin disebabkn aku yg pd waktu itu hanya memikirkan tentang bagaimana masa aku akan dihabiskan brsama bdk2.. sampai skrg pun sebenarnya aku x sangka yang aku boleh terima ajakan org yg aku x kenal sgt, hanya sekadar mengenali rupa dan nama sahaja..

lebih kurang 2 minggu lepas tu, aku dpt msg dr dia.. "ada prog di kelantan, 18-25 April ni. nak join? "
terus aku jawab tanpa pikir dua kali.. " nak nak!! " .. "okay,  bg nama penuh, ic, matric no"..

dah lepas setuju semua baru aku terpikir, eh aku ni baru je kenal dia.. percaya mcm tu je nak ikut dia.. dah la aku x kenal siapa-siapa selain dia...baru nak rasa segan bagai...haha .. waktu tu, baru persoalan2 sedemikian berlegar2 di minda..
erm lantak la.. aku pergi dengan satu tujuan..
yakin Allah sentiasa bersama..

kemudian, bermulalah rentetan peristiwa hidup aku bersama COMRADE.

Program Islamic Practical Teaching for Orang Asli atau lebih dikenali sbg IPTA byk mengajar aku tentang erti kehidupan.. banyak mengajar aku sesuatu yang aku tidak dpt pelajari di tempat lain. banyak mengajar tentang perbezaan yg ada pd diri setiap manusia ciptaan Allah ini..

di sini aku belajar utk menghormati org yg lebih tua.. aku belajar bagaimana berkomunikasi dgn ibu bapa, bagaimana menjaga hati dan perasaan org lain terutamanya ibu bapa aku sndiri.. alhamdulillah setelah setahun lebih aku brsama COMRADE, aku dapat merasai perbezaan hubungan antara aku dan ibu bapa aku..         in shaa Allah bertambah baik.. alhamdulillah..

di sini juga aku merasakan bahawa setiap dari kita harus menjadi seorang dai'e.. dulu aku tertanya-tanya, cukup layakkah aku utk berdakwah kpd org lain, cukupkah ilmu aku utk menyampaikan kebenaran dan kecantikan Islam itu..

alhamdulillah, aku mengerti sesuatu. da'wah tidak perlu menunggu seseorang itu utk menjadi sempurna. yang penting kesungguhan dan keikhlasan dlm berjuang di jalan Allah.. biar sedikit, biar kecil, asalkn dapat memberi manfaat walaupun sebesar zarah kepada org lain. satu lg, yg penting biar apa yg kita sampaikan itu merupakan sesuatu yg kita yakin akan kebenaran dan kesahihan perkara itu.. jd, utk memastikan apa yg kita sampaikn itu benar, belajar.. dan lebih baik lagi kalau kita bertalaqqi, yakni kita memperoleh ilmu itu terus dr seorang guru supaya pemahaman kita lebih jelas dan In shaa Allah perkara yg disampaikn itu sahih.

tp mmg susah nk istiqamah bila nk belajar ni.. takpe, sikit2 lama2 jadi bukit.. In shaa Allah..

berbalik kepada COMRADE, rata2 ahli-ahlinya bukanlah orang2 yg betul "ustaz" atau "ustazah".. kebanyakannya semua seperti aku.. mencari erti kehidupan dalam menyampaikan da'wah.. tp, konfemlah mereka lebih berpengetahuan agama berbanding aku.. jauh bagai langit dan bumi.. haha ^^

masih jauh lagi perjalanan aku.. aku hanya mampu berdoa dan berharap agar aku akan sentiasa tegak berjalan di jalan yg Dia redhai.. amiiin~

sedikit cebisan gambar2 sebelum aku cerita lagi pasal kg angkat pertama aku..

waktu sesi Helwani.. petang2 utk kaum2 ibu warga kampung

naik lori utk masuk ke kawasan kampung.. mengambil masa lebih kurang dlm 20- 30 minit jugak lar.. 

bersama adik2 

kami x ajar adik2 buat peace tau (erm.. mcm ye je senanyer..huhu)

dengan nak (panggilan bg mak utk suku kaum Bateq)

Alhamdulillah, Allah telah mempertemukan aku dgn sahabat yg aku paling percaya dan sayang yg mengenalkan aku kpd COMRADE.. syukran ya sohibi!

cuti ni~

result kali ni menurun sedikit.. tp xpe.. sesuailah dgn usaha sy.. alhamdulillah x meroyan mana pun.. haha..
balik-balik je dr kampung orang asli, terus rasa sedih.. pertama, sedih sebab tinggalkan keluarga2 angkat dan juga adik-adik di kampung tu..  kedua, sebab kecewa? dengan kawan? hurm x kisah lah.. yang penting ianya dah buat saya sedar supaya tidak terlalu mempercayai kawan-kawan.. rasa trauma pun ada kadang-kadang dgn kejadian ni.. mungkin saya yg 'over-sensitive', who knows.. haha..

waktu kat kampung, kami dikejutkan dengan berita pemergian ibu salah seorang sahabat kami bernama sarah.. memang dah ketentuan Allah untuk tidak membenarkan sarah ikut serta dengan kami ke kg orang asli tapi menemani ibunya di saat-saat akhir.. anda amat tabah, sarah! takziah kepada sarah dan keluarganya. peristiwa yang menimpa sarah betul-betul banyak mengajar saya. waktu menziarahi sarah ke rumahnya, saya risau sangat yang saya akan menangis di hadapannya dengan secara tidak sengaja. ketika itu, saya hanya mampu merenung mukanya tanpa berkata apa-apa. saya tak mampu untuk lakukan apa-apa untuk sarah.. di benak hati ni, kami semua mengetahui betapa sedihnya sarah dan betapa sukarnya dia untuk menahan kesedihan itu di hadapan kami namun dia berjaya mengukir senyuman. sarah, aku tau kau seorang yang sangat kuat. aku sayang kat kau and i will cherish u as my friend even though i always failed to do so.

semoga rohnya arwah ibu sarah dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan org-org yang beriman.amiin~~

shortsem kali ni insyaAllah akan ambil dua subjek.. tp setakat ni satu je yang dapat. lagi satu tak tau la bakal dapat atau tak.. lepas tu, mungkin juga akan kerja part-time.. huuu~~ sebelum ni kerja kat zoo.. pengalaman yang amat menarik.. di situ jugalah personaliti saya berubah menjadi semakin kasar ala-ala tomboi sebab sorang je perempuan waktu tu.. kawan-kawan semua lelaki... semua India..  memang mantap lar..  tapi berkawan dengan mereka amat best.. bos pun baik gilerr.. kali ni harap-harap dapat cari kerja jugak..

 lepas ni, semua kisah lama harus dilupakan.. mula buku baru..

Yayasan Salam & STS-MC @ skttdi (12 Apr 2011)

this week has been so frightening for me.. i do not know why but it is just felt like that.
this time, i would like to share my experience one year ago with yayasan salam and the STS-MC.

yayasan salam... maybe some of u have heard about it. it is a non-profit organization formed to promote the spirit of volunteerism...basically they did a lot of volunteer works that have given many chances to a lot of people out there to serve the community. it's like a place or medium for the people who wants to do a volunteer work. visit their website and you will find out more...(www dot salam dot org dot my).

then, the STS-MC.. stands for the Space Tourism Society-Malaysia Chapter. need more information about them? google them.. lol :)

so, on that day Yuri's Day was celebrated in skttdi. they were asking for volunteers to help them so that their program runs smoothly. so, i went to that school, SK Taman Tun Dr. Ismail (1) to help but i did not being any help to them.(rasa bersalah jugak lar).. i think instead of being a volunteer there, i was being like the vvip (a non-invited so-called vvip.lol) i didnt do anything seriously.. being the audience, being the observer, and eating for sure.. and the thing that i could still remember till now was having the experience to eat in one table with those powerful and most important person there without knowing who there are.. was it that i'm too blur and insensitive or they are the one who are being humble and down to earth..  more likely both of it. lol.. they are really nice person even they are in much more higher status than me.

at first, i felt strange because i did not know any one of them. btw, their program called Yuri's Day (oh i hv said it before) and the most exciting was Mejar Faiz our National Austronout, was there giving them a speech.  i could met him face to face on that day. his talk was really inspiring, exciting and i'm sure most of the students were inspired to follow his footstep, including me but i think its somehow kinda late for me.. haha ^^..

talking about space tourism and how they can be in the future.
basically, they have organized a competition between high schools to develop a 'spaceship' for tourism. maybe 10 years in the future we can have our own vacation to the moon? so, on that day, they were announcing the finalist for the competition and also announcing the first Junior Student Space Tourism Award 2011 who was the student of that school itself..

Mejar Dr. Faiz ... Malaysia Boleh ^^

after announcing the award, they had the Certificates of Appreciation given to the 10 teams who had won the first round of the National Suborbital Spaceplane Design Competition, out of 66 teams from 59 secondary schools that had participated. wanna know the finalist of the competition? check this out.. :P

1. SMK Seri Bintang Selatan
2. Sekolah Berasrama Penuh Integrasi Gombak
3. SMK Tun Sardon
4. SMK Bandar Baru Sungai Buloh
5. SMTA Tengku Ampuan Jemaah
6. MRSM Kubang Pasu
7. SMS Pasir Puteh
8. SMKA Melor
9. SMT Tuanku Jaafar
10. SMK Seri Pagi


(source :spacetourismsociety)

last, but not least :

unforgettable memory.
thanks to amirulspacetourismsociety 4 da pictures (^_^), taken without asking? hee~~~

missing them

salam~

adakah sy masih dgn pegangan hidup sy lg? adakah niat sy masih sama seperti dahulu?

i still remember long time before, when i was convincing my parents on how i really want to do the things that i really love..
i still remember on how happy i was when dealing with the school kids, gave them small advices, gave them the courage, motivates them.. it makes me happy and satisfied.. thinking on how committed i was 'handling' those kids without thinking that i went there to just have fun, to just hanging out with friends, to just happily 'jalan-jalan'.. yes, i wasnt thinking any of that.

i still remember on how excited i was when hearing that i'm gonna visit 'orang asli' community in kelantan.
i still remember how happy i was to hear those fascinating stories from my friend about those 'orang asli kids'..
even without having any friends to accompany me together to go to that trip to kampung orang asli', i didnt really care about that. why? because i wanted to be there not because of friends or just wanted to kill my leisure time, but there was something i can do for that community, serves them, giving them the love and the attention and to tell them that we are all the same (that was on my mind)..

i still remember when i was serving the elders, the kids, that was the time where i think i have been truly committed on my works.. without having the thought of tired, lazy or intentionally to show off to someone (sometimes people do have that kind of feeling..admits guys..lol.) , i felt like waah that is the greatest feeling i've ever had. not thinking about anything but just to make sure everyone get their shares..

i really miss those kind of feelings, those kinds of thought, those kinds of hard work, where we put Allah to be on top of anything. whatever we did, it is because Allah.

but right now, it is slowly started to dissappear.. i'm really scared that it will going to be happen for real.. 
i hope it is just my feeling that is being disturbed by Adam's enemy..


lets muhasabah ourselves again.. when we have the correct 'niyyah', insyaAllah everything will be alright.. insyaAllah we will not to be involved in problems with friends, jealousy, hatred, and ect.

STUFF @ Sk Senai Utama, Johor (5&6 Mac 2011)

salam~
alhamdulillah cgpa sy sem lepas ok.. x sangka jugak.. ingatkn xde harapan dah esp nk major.. hehe.. now, i'm officially majoring in Psychology.. alhamdulillah. then, intending to minoring in IT.. well, i changed my course from  ICT to HS before was not because of i hate ICT.. but my passion is more on the psychology.. huhu..:) still in deep thinking process.. hehe..

banyak benda yg sy belajar masa sem 1 sy kat UIA ni.. yeah the life is difference from what we experienced in the matriculation somehow. bunch of unforgettable moments. joining programs and many more. the first program that i joined in UIA was the Kem Kecemerlangan UPSR at SK Senai, Johor. a program under a club named STUFF (Student Facilitating Front) -cool and fun club-. It was a really cool experience, a really good team, a really awesome kids..

semestinya yg sy paling x boleh lupa adalah adik-adik Sk Senai yg sangat2 baik, sangat2 fun, sangat2 bagus. mereka boleh kata adik2 prtama yg sy ada.. sbb tu sayang lebih-mungkin-... haha..  berangkat dr UIA tengah2 malam. sampai sana dlm pukul 3-4 pagi.. sampai je sekolah tu kami tidur dulu pastu dlm kul 7 camtu siap2, sarapan suma sambil tunggu program bermula..

barisan2 fasilitator

senaman siput dan byk senaman lg. yg ni mcm senaman superman je.. huhu

kemudian, adik2 dibahagikan kpd kumpulan masing2 mengikut fasi yg telah ditentukan. happy sangat sbb dapat sekumpulan adik2 yg sgt best.. seriously best.. rindu sgt dgn adik2 ni..

dianugerahkan sbg kumpulan terbaik~~ hehe.. lalala~ 

kata-kata sayang akak utk adik2 akak :- <3

Nadzmi (Imad)-leader, ketua pengawas, plg berani, plg sempoi, idea dan cara pembentangan dia, pergh kalah bdk U.. huhu.. pahamlah kenapa dia ketua pengawas. :)

Madihah- pengawas jugak ni.. nampak garang tp hati baik.. byk cakap jugak. tak pasif selalu gaduh2 manja ngn imad.. S/u pengawas ngn ketua pengawas..standard ar tu.. haha. selalu keep in touch ngn kakak dia ni.. caya lar~~

abg zack- sgt2 comel.. bijak dan baik mcm adik2 lain jugak. tp sehari je dengan adik ni.. sbb dia kena balik awal :( .. balik awal ke lambat akak tetap sayang awak. hehe :)  moment paling adik ni, bila main permainan saham. bdk2 stuff main game ni pun x macam adik ni.. terpegun kakak faci dia ni tgk..

khairul- bdk ni cool gitu jer style dia.. muka mcm ramai peminat.. hakhak.. senyap yg style cool.. tp diam2 berisi tu..huhu..akak ingat awak brjaya menyelesaikan kertas utk masukkan kepala awk dlm tu. huhu.

muin- adik ni pun comel.. kecik je orangnyer.. dan sangat baik.. muin, akak xkn lupa insyaAllah yg awak pernah belanja akak roti.. thanks muin.

zafirah- pengawas kan? lembut2 awak nmpak jugak lar ketegasan.. kreatif jugak.

batrisya- manis dan lembut jer orangnya. adik ni kreatif jugak. baik adik ni

syahindah- syahindah plg pendiam dlm group akak. tp baik sgt. diam2 berisi. akak paling happy bila hari kedua program, syahindah sendiri yg volunteer nk pergi bercakap kat depan semua orang. akak sangat2 happy waktu tu sbb awak sebelum ni diam sgt, sbb malu kot..

halini- adik ni baik.. kecik jgk orgnyer.. halini suka sgt nk duduk sebelah akak kn smpai berebut2 dengan lain2. halini lepas ni kena sentiasa bersemangat dan jgn pedulikan apa org nk kata.. bila kita buat baik dgn org lain, insyaAllah org lain pun akan buat baik dengan kita.

ada seorang lg nama adik yg tertinggal.. akak lupa lar nama adik tu, ada sape2 boleh bantu. dia balik awal sbb ada prtandingn bola sepak.. adik yg handsome, tinggi, baik dan cool~

waktu ni yg plg ingat komen imad, dia kata kakak fasi dia ni sgt2 cool dan sempoi! ehek.. ter-riak jap.. ngee~

sesi LDK ngn adik2 yg sempoi. ^^

model=muin.. idea mereka semata2.. kakak fasi x kreatif bab2 ni tp adik2nya kreatif sgt. nk tgk hasilnya? jeng jeng jeng ^^

berbungkus2 muin ni.. huhu.. siap xleh jalan.. kena angkat..nasib baik ringan jer.. huhu~

lapaaaaarr~~~~ 

salah satu surat yg ditulis oleh adik2 sy~ masih simpan sampai sekarang.. rindu sgt dgn adik2 senai.

sayang suma adik2 yg ikut program senai tu.. terima kasih kerana masih ingat akak dan selalu keep in touch dengan akak walaupun adik2 bukan dlm kumpulan akak.. tahniah dan Good Luck melangkah ke alam sekolah menengah, pastu boleh masuk universiti pulak kan.. amiiin..

dua hari di sk senai amat2 bermakna dan bahagia, wah! hahah.. modul2 pun mantap.. harap2 adik2 kat senai dpt sesuatu dr program ni walaupun sedikit. akak2 dan abg2 fasi amat mengharapkan kejayaan adik2 suma. besarnya harapan kami, lg besar harapan guru2 dan ibubapa adik2.. buat yg terbaik (^_^) 

geng2 senai2 (^_^) -ganas gila kakak dorang ni.huhu-

p/s: kat sini first time kenal en. asyraf. sbb dia sy kenal sesuatu yg berharga dlm hidup sy.. terima kasih banyak2. nak tau apa dia? hurm~~  ^^

FINAL EXAM & Sook Kin's born-Day :)

nama saya feni.. err~~~ perlulah kan.. haha.. sekarang ni musim exam.. tp x sebaik yang diharap. mungkin salah sendiri, banyak main, byk sgt tumpu kat bnda2 lain, dan hampir keseluruhan masalah yang sy hadapi sem ni bknnya brpunca dari pelajaran. tu mmg x menunjukkan sesuatu yg baik... ouh x tau la ape nk jd ngn sem ni.. dah la sem prtama dlm hs psychology (insyaAllah). mmg harapan tinggal harapan je lar nk try mintak scholar ker, pinjaman ker.. adoyai.. otousan, okaasan~ gomenasai. hontoni gomenasai~

tgk bdk kat atas ni.. belum pape lg dah give up.. padahal paper x abis lg.. ade 4 lagi tinggal... entahlah, dh xde semangat.. risau yg amat. kita tunggu dan lihat apa kesudahan insan yg brnama feni ni masa dapat result nanti.

okay, bukak cerita lain.. salah satu cara nak release tension, ataupun cuba utk melupakan kerunsingan hati buat seketika adalah dengan memikirkan perkara2 atau peristiwa yg menggembirakan.. berkesan la jgk buat satu jangka waktu. sekarang sy cuba nk recall, ingat balik peristiwa2 yg sy anggap bermakna dan susah nk lupa pada tahun lepas..

mula2 nak cerita mengenai KAMI yang hangout sama2 utk menyambut hari jadi salah seorang kawan sy boleh kata dia sahabat special sy. kenapa special? sbb sy rasa dia pun rasa sy special bg dia.. kahkah.. (mungkin sy ni perasan sikit tp dia sgt baik.. xtipu punya.. haha).. err.. mood ape pulak ni.. haha.. (alamak gambar bawah ni terbuat muka plak, xpe, gmbr zaman dahulu kala)haha

jeng jeng jeng....!!  HO SOOK KIN!! (^_^)

dia lahir 16 okt.. rasanya lar.. haha.. dia antara bdk yg plg pandai kat skolah dulu.. mmg kontra la dgn sy ni.. @.@  karangan bm dia hebat woo.. kdg2 sy selalu kalah ngn dia bm (dah la kdg2, pastu ada selalu plak tu, bukti bm mmg teruk).. hehe.. kenal dia since form 2 kot? kenal rapat waktu kerja sama2 dlm Editorial Board skolah ngn Badminton club. kelas lain2 except for form 2 n 3..

yang bestnya psl dia ni..even dah grad from high school, dia still akan keep in touch ngn kwn2 dia. sy antaranya.. haha.. penah jugak satu hari tu masa sy di cfs, tgh2 tension, frust, ajak dia dgn Tong Wai Yee lepak sama2.. terus hilang stress.. haha.. dan masa befday dia, dia ajak celebrate sekali.. lupa la apa nama tempat tu.. sy makan kek jer.. yang lain2 suma makan bnda2 berat..

ramai yang ikut.. haha.. x silap ada 10 org semuanya.. ada Wai Yee, Melissa, Poh Yee, Miou Ching, Li Wen, Jian Yi, Mei Kei, Viview.. tu je kot.. hehe.. :)

kek.. nyum! 

wai yee feed me like i'm a baby..err.. haha

love them all (^_^)

i am reserved until D-day had come.. hikhik...insyaAllah..

may OUR friendship will lasts forever <3

still if u think like that

can't u believe it.. the total number of my blog so far for this year is ONE!!!
yey,, clap ur hands please!! (^_^) .. lol..


even though i have so many things to tell but it seems i dont have any.. not because i REALLY dont have .but i just cant tell.. thinking about how those guys around me will think about me esp that someONE.. huh.. thanks to him cuz alot of things that i could or would tell here or in FB, i did not tell it. because of him i restrained myself from telling everybody about my life, my problems and so on.. even though at that particular time i really need someone to hear me or at least know whats goin on with me.


(gila nk perhatian.. haha..xpe kan? sy x kuat dan x secekal para nabi dan para sahabat utk handle sorang2.. even Nabi Muhammad S.A.W pun ada sahabat baik sendiri yg sering membantu dan mendengar dan mempercayai setiap apa yg diperkatakan oleh Rasulullah dan sanggup mempertaruhkan nyawa dan harta benda beliau utk Rasulullah S.A.W dan perjuangan membawa Agama Allah SWT... begitu hebat sahabat Nabi itu. adakah pada zaman sekarang sahabat seperti itu dapat kita cari?)

but yey! ..  i stop myself from doing that.  but sometimes there are couples of things that i just slipped through FB.. maybe i was too emotional and cant think straight.. oh dush.. c'mon guys.. i know some of us are like that too esp WOMEN, GIRLS.. haha..
however i've never think that i could achieve such a great achievement, not telling everybody everything that i want to share.. haha.. isnt it good enough? duh i dont think so. well, i will be still trying my very best..

saya pernah teringat suatu ketika dahulu, apabila sy mendengar (ke sy membaca) tentang satu ayat ni.. x silap hadith rasanya.. lupa pula.. ayat itu lebih kurang mcm ni lar.. apa  yg sy faham dari ayat itu :-

apabila seseorang itu tidak menceritakan kesulitan yg dia hadapi kpd org lain dan menghadapi kesulitan itu dgn redha dan ikhlas, maka ganjaran yg akan dia dapat lebih dr apa yg dapat dia bayangkan..

lebih kurang la.. sampai sekarang kalau sy menghadapi sebarang kesulitan, sy akan cuba ingat kata2 tersebut dan cuba praktikkan. tp kadang2, not everyone is strong enough to endure it. haha..

this year 2011 is the year where i step in to the IIUM Gombak. tell ya, it was a very cool experience. i learnt so many things.. i GOT into TROUBLES.. haha.. there are some good things that i will cherish till the moment  Allah take the memory back from me. there are also things that makes me COL (cry out loud).. haha.. but still its a good learning for me. that makes me even stronger, stronger but yet still crying sometimes.. kahkahkah..

but i tell u guys, i have so many things i want to share (of course the good things.). memories with COMRADEANS, STUFF-ians, co-workers, roomates, classmates, coursemates, programme-mates, uni-mates (eh jap2 wujud ke perkataan tu.. ) GRAMMAR POLICE here!! haha..

ingat nak cerita pasal kehidupan sy bersama warga COMRADE, warga STUFF, warga ICT, warga ZOO NEGARA, warga STS-MC (Space Tourism Society - Malaysian Chapter) .. ohho.. to many leh.. wah..

see you then till the next ..
SALAM! (^_^)
(p/s: nak raya dah, tp sedih meninggalkn Ramadhan, entah dapat jumpa dia lg ke tak nanti. Ya ALLAH, Kau pertemukanlah kami kembali pada masa akan datang. jgn pisahkan kami sebegini awal Ya Allah. Amiin.. )

Surat Cinta untuk Allah- halal dan haram bagiku.

Islam Itu Indah (13 Feb 2011)

Ustaz M Nur Maulana.

twitter @IslamItu_Indah

*secebis doa mohon keredhaan Allah

Renungkan diri kita

jangan sampai ada di dalam diri kita

sesuatu yg tidak dibenarkn oleh islam.

sedarkn diri kita,

nasihatkn diri kita,

relakah kita,

di dalam darah kita bercampur sesuatu yg diharamkan,

apatah lagi sudah menjadi daging,

sudah menjadi tulang,

maka tidak ada yang dapat membersihkannya

melainkn api neraka..

subhannallah , walhamdulillah, walailahaillallah , waallahuakbar,

ya Allah , ya Rabb,

berilah aku rezeki yg banyak, mudah lagi diberkati oleh-Mu ..

Ya Allah,

datangkanlah rezeki itu

rezeki yang halal lagi baik untukku.

ya Allah,

bukakanlah mataku,

hatiku,

untuk bisa membezakan yang mana

yg baik yg mana halal.

ya Allah,

Ampunkanlah dosaku,

tak sanggup tubuh ini merasakan api nerakamu ya allah.

astaghfirullah alazim..

ya Allah,

apapun yg ku berikan kepada isteri anakku keluargaku,

semoga sesuatu yg ku berikan adalah sesuatu yg halal.

ya Allah,

bantulah aku,

tuntunlah aku

utk mndpat keredhaan-Mu ya Allah.

rabbana atina fiddunya hasanah, wafil akhirati hasaanah wakina azabannar.

wasallahu a'la saidina Muhammad.

walhamdulillahi rabbil a'lamin.

ameen ya rabbal a'lamin.

YA RAHMAN

i'm sorry..

i know i was wrong..

but Ya Allah please have a mercy on me..

at least get me pass for the test...

i dont want to be a troublesome to the others esp my parents and my uncle..

please..

i realized everything that i did ..

but i didnt make any changes for it..

i just let it controlled my mind..

i acted like i did not care about it...

i acted like i didnt believe it..

i acted like i did not scared about it..

but deeply down at the bottom of my heart..

i was terribly scared..

huge scared..

really scared....

but i didnt do anything..

i'm so dumb.. baka!!

i know i'm too late for that..

but i also know maybe there is still time for me..

i just wanna get pass through that 'thing'..

i cannot promise myself but i will try..

i'm just a dumb-stupid-clueless person..

my heart is still not strong..

why i became like this..

i'm so full of myself..

Ya Allah.. can YOU accept my du'a..

give me light..give me YOUR love..

please give me YOUR Hidayah..

please...

Ya Rahman..

only to YOU i beg for YOUR Help..

only to YOU i beg for YOUR Mercy..

HELP ME....

Rabbana atina fid dunya hasanah wa fil akhirati hasanah wa kina azab annar..

The Crystal Soul ;part 1

yesterday i found some interesting stuff.. thanks to kak ranee ( my cousin from Indonesia).. i watched a talk show called "Mario Teguh" ( a motivation talk show from Indonesia) and i find that it was really really good for someone that longing to have a medicine soup for their heart and soul.. just google it..lol..

wat i'm gonna do is i wanna discuss about what did he do/talk/dicuss in that show..
one of the episodes that i managed to watch is "The crystal Soul" its really informative and inspiring..
this is what i get from that show..

"The Crystal Soul"
Mario Teguh
17 Mei 2009

1) SENTIASA MELIHAT DENGAN SUDUT PERSPEKTIF YG BAIK..

~tuhan kita telah merencanakan sesatu yg baik utk kita dgn tujuan utk memuliakan manusia dr makhluk2nya yg lain..
dan bagaimana kita hendak melihat atau merasakannya dlm kehidupan kita..ramai diantara kita yg melihat sesuatu itu dgn perspektif yg negatif padahal Allah telah merencanakan sesuatu baik utk memuliakan hamba2nya..

caranya adalah dengan membersihkan hati dan hendaklah melihat yg Baik-nya..

berapa ramai di antara kita yg sering melihat setiap sesuatu itu dgn pndangan atau fikiran yg baik tanpa tidak sama sekali berprasangka buruk??.. mungkin ada saja yg berfikiran negatif atau berprasangka buruk trhadap sesuatu itu..

ya.. mungkin kita akan salah dalam melihat atau menilai dr perspektif yg baik itu namun kita salah secara benar.. maksudnya kita salah dlm cubaan atau rangka menyayangi, salah dlm rangka utk membawa kepada kebaikan.. itu tidak mengapa kan..
drpd kita salah menduga org baik sbg org yg jahat.. itu mmg akan membawa mudarat kpada org yg dituduh dan kita telah secara tidak langsung menganiayanya..

konklusinya, kita cuba buang jauh2 perasaan buruk sangka tu walaupun kenyataannya mmg pahit atau tidak baik.. biarlah org yg berbuat jahat kat kita jgn pulak kita yg buat jahat kat org..
lagipun, setiap apa yg brlaku ada hikmahnya dan kita tidak tau sehinggalah kita menyedarinya..


2) KELUAR DARI ZON YG TIDAK SELESA

Selalunya kita selalu berpendapat bahawa kita selalu berada dlm zon yg selesa (COMFORT ZONE).. padahal kita sebenarnya berada dlm zon yg tidak selesa..
mana x nya, duit x cukup, hutang banyak, kerja pangkat rendah jer, selalu kene marah dgn bos/cikgu..adakah itu dipanggil comfort zone? haha..

berapa ramai yg ada skrg ni yg membiasakan diri hidup dlm pendapatan yg kecil dan serba kekurangan maksudnya yg hidup berhemat dlm kuantiti sederhana walaupun rata2 hidup senang?

dan bagaimana pula jika kita sudah keluar dari zon tersebut namun kita lagi terperangkap di dalam zon atau keadaan yg lg teruk dr sebelum ni?

hurm..x semestinya bila kita dah kluar dr tempat tu kita akan terus selesa.. tidak.. sbb itulah kita dianjurkan utk berdoa.. minta pd Allah supaya dilapangkan dada dan ditunjukkan jalan keluar yg baik dan sebenar2nya.. minta dijauhkan dr melalui jalan2 yg tidak baik..

bersihkan hati, buka mata, buka minda dan berdoa kepada Allah SWT.. InsyaAllah..

salam Maal Hijrah, wish u a happy new year..

hari ni bermulalah hari baru pd tahun yg baru.. hari yg disambut oleh seluruh umat Islam.. dgn bermulalah lembaran baru, azam baru dan visi dan misi baru bak kata org buka buku baru.. ada juga yg mempunyai tekad utk melaksanakan visi dan misi yg tidak tercapai pd tahun yg sebelumnya.. apa2 pun, setiap apa yg kita cita2kan haruslah diniatkan trlebih dahulu semata2 kerana Allah Taala.. InsyaAllah semoga pd tahun ini kita lebih bernasib baik dan diredhai oleh Allah..

rasanya tiba2 jer smalam dpt satu ilham..dpt satu azam..terpikir satu cita2..
antaranya menyediakan blog ini lebih kpd apa yg sy minat (psychology).. dan sy harap at least ianya berguna sedikit kepada org yg membaca (klu ada yg baca lar..huhu)
haha..semalam sy rasa berkobar2 sgt nak laksanakn misi sy yg telah sy impikan utk menjayakannya sejak zaman sekolah lagi..i always have dat some crazy ideas that are just too way far beyond my reality.. haha..tp mungkin trlalu tinggi dan sukar utk sy buat..
*omg feni.. u're doing that again.. do not ever say no of something that u havent done..remember that*

okay.. i'll try my best to achieve my dreams.. i wont let myself to look humiliated in front of my family and for those who have faith on me cuz i dont have the strenght and will to do that..InsyaAllah...

friends, let us bring back the glorious Islamic empire like before..May Allah always being beside us.. amiinn..

idol ; padang ; me

salam..
at last i've given the chance, the right time to post a new blog..
i will be considered as lying if i said i dont have time.. that was the popular statement when someone is unable to do or complete his/her work.. well, we think that we dont have enough time but actually we do have it.. but we dont know how to find it and use it wisely.. i'm kind of that person..i admit i do not know how to manage my time and always complain about it.. hurmm..

wani, one of the person that will be highlighted in this post..
dia la yg sibuk kritik blog ni.. x up-to-date lar and so whatever.. yes, i admit.. memang dah lama gilerr x update blog.. well, i'm not kind of person yg suka bab2 writing ni.. hehe.. okay, just for u and because of u wani i update this blog..
semate-mate untuk mu..LOL.. haha..

beberapa minggu kebelakangan ni amatlah byk perkara baru yg berlaku.. yelar, mana tak nya.. this is the first post since sem 2 started about a months ago.. memang banyak perkara yg berlaku dan hampir sukar untuk diceritakan kat sini.. boleh jer nak cerita, tp perasaan malas tu lebih menguasai diri.. huhu.. laen kali jer lar cite.. hihi..

erm.. actually i want to tell u about my experience met abg andre last week..
that time i was with my cousin and sis at mid valley 9.30 pm (sumting like dat)... finding stuff at mph.. almost closed but i managed to find things that i want..
nasib baik cousin sy yg setahun lebih tua tu sudi nak temankan gi mid valley naik kereta dia.. haha.. tp mengikut syarat dan terma dia, i have to 'top up' his petrol.. suka-suki dia jer arn.. bajet sy ni loaded ker ape.. tp setelah berjaya tipu and pujuk dia..yay~~ape lagi berbondong2 lar gi mid valley..

then, balik tu..dia suruh singgah rumah dia dulu.. time tu dah pukul 11.30 mlm camtu.. ingat x nak pergi, tp bila pikir2 yg sy dah x jumpa pakcik and makcik saudara a.k.a mak dan bapak angkat selama sebulan..apa salahnya jenguk diaorang kan..
masa sampai rumah tu, terkejut gilerr yg teramat bila nampak abg andre depan mata.. rasa cam nak peluk jer.. kah kah kah.. i admit i minat dia.. just admire him.. tp pernah berangan nak kahwin dgn dia jugak kowt.. hahaha.. LAME~~..
BUT! umur dia dah 28 tahun lar.. lagipun dia tu keluarga sy.. berangan jer lebih..:P

he is like my idol.. i admire him for his work and others.. he almost finishing his pHD dlm masa terdekat ni.. he always go for global conferences and meeting.. for example, representative for indonesia in PBB conference and many others.. he has achieved so many great things although he is just at this young age...
he is such a good speaker and great motivater..so that is why he's always being sent to be a part of work which involving other countries around the globe..
and that's why i admired him so much.. i'd like to make him as my idol..

sy dgn keluarga cousin sy mmg excited glerr nak dengar cerita dia kat padang mase gempa bumi tu.. kebetulan pada hari berlakunya gempa bumi tu dia ada di padang.. macam2 cerita lar yg dia cerita kat kitaorang.. memang Allah nak tunjukkan kekuasaan-Nya kat umat manusia ni.. abg andre kata memang nampak yg gempa bumi ni pilih2 rumah atau kawasan.. petempatan org2 cina semua musnah lagi2 tokong diaorang tu..masjid x runtuh tp rumah2 sekeliling tu semua runtuh..mcm peristiwa yg kita dgr mase tsunami dulu.. yg paling tragik apabila dianggarkan seramai 300 org penduduk kampung lenyap ditelan bumi.. dua kampung hilang dr pandangan mata.. abg andre ckp mase tu sedang diadakan 3 buah pesta perkahwinan rasanya kat kampung tu.. lepas tu ada jugak mangsa2 yg minta dipotong kaki atau tangannya untuk lepaskan diri dr runtuhan2 batu.. orang yg memotong tu memang x sampai hati nak potong.. tp nak wat camne.. memang dah x larat nak angkut batu2 tu.. nak tunggu kren datang, alamat memang dah x bernyawa dah dorang2 tu.. kesian gler.. actually bantuan2 dr negara lain mcm poland, rusia mmg dah lama sampai kat Padang ..tp akibat kekalutan kat government tu, dorang yg dtg dr jauh tu susah nak teruskan kerja sbb dorang x tau nak start dr mana.. if not mungkin banyak nyawa yg boleh diselamatkan.. memang banyak cerita2 yg mengerikan dan sedih.. ada sebuah sekolah yg runtuh yg dalam tu ada beratus2 pelajar sekolah rendah.. rasanya semua syahid dlm tgh2 menuntut ilmu tu.. Al-Fatihah buat muslimin muslimat yg jd mangsa.. ada juga seorang perempuan ni yg masih hidup setelah empat hari terperangkap dlm runtuhan, dia sempat lagi menghantar sms kepada ibunya yg menyatakan dia maih hidup.. dlm msg dia, dia ckp lebih kurang camni.. 'mama, aku hidup lg.. tolong aku'.. tp msg tu hanya sampai setelah lapan hari peristiwa gempa bumi sbb mmg line x de and susah nak dapat time tu.. bila gerakan penyelamat mencari, perempuan tu berjaya ditemui tp telah meninggal dunia.. mcm2 cerita sedih lagi selain drpd ni..
harap2 benda2 nie boleh dijadikan iktibar kepada kita semua terutamanya sy..


sambung cite lain lak.. hehe..
maybe korunk rasa yg sy tah apa2 cuz menjadikan abg andre sebagai idola atau a person yg dibanggakan.. kenapa x pilih tokoh2 besar macam Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammad ker, atau Mahatma Ghandi ker, Hitler ker (hehe), Ibnu Sina ker or even Nabi Muhammad S.A.W... Sebelum sy huraikan dgn lebih lanjut, i'm a big fan of Baginda Nabi Muhammad(pbuh).. i mean of course he is an idol..not just for me but for the whole nation of Islam even for the non-muslim too.. we have to be proud of our Prophet because no one can be able to beat him in every aspects esp great and powerful leadership..

RENUNGAN PSIKOLOGI..
tidak salah untuk kita menjadikan sesiapa sahaja sebagai idola kita namun ianya haruslah berlandakan sesuatu yg baik supaya dapat dijadikan pedoman dan iktibar kepada kita..
tidak kisahla sama ada seseorang idola itu merupakan tokoh yg besar dan menyumbangkan jasa yg begitu besar ataupun ianya setakat org biasa tetapi mempunyai pengaruh dan memberi impak yg cukup besar buat diri kita seperti ayah atau ibu kita..
menurut sy, tidak cukup hanya menjadikan tokoh2 besar sebagai idola kita..tetapi biarlah kita juga mempunyai idola terdekat atau yg mempunyai hubungan dengan kita..
seperti ibu bapa, adik-beradik, saudara-mara, cikgu kita sendiri, mahupun kenalan atau rakan kita sendiri..

apabila kita menjadikan hanya mereka2 yg bernama besar sebagai idola kita, ianya agak kurang memberikan impak kepada diri kita..sbb mungkin mereka tidak ada pertalian dgn kita.. mungkin mereka amat memberi kesan terhadap hidup sesorang namun sejauh mana ianya dpt berkekalan dan bertahan lama.. perasaan itu pasti berbeza jika kita menjadikan seseorang yg kita kenal sebagai idola dan pemangkin semangat.. kerana secara mentalitinya, kita pasti akan mengatakan kita boleh lakukan seperti apa yg mereka lakukan.. 'kalau ayah boleh bersusah payah kerja siang malam untuk keluarga, kenapa tidak sy kelak'.. 'klu abg dgn kakak boleh mendapat segulung ijazah, kenapa tidak sy'...'klu pakcik boleh dpt anugerah saintis terbaik, kenapa tidak sy'.. contoh lar..

pada masa yg sama, jikalau kita bermonolog dgn diri kita mengenai idola nama2 besar..
'klu Tun Dr. Mahathir boleh buat Twin Tower, kenapa tidak sy?'.. klu Ibnu Sina boleh memikirkan cara2 untuk bedah org atau mencipta perkakas2 pembedahan, kenapa tidak sy?'.. bila kita memikirkan perkara2 sebegini, kita mungkin merasakan yg hampir mustahil utk kita melakukan perkara2 itu walaupun sebenarnya ianya boleh direalisasikan asalkan kita mempunyai semangat dan jiwa yg kental, pergorbanan yg tinggi, daya usaha yg maksimum dan sebagainya, tidak mustahil yg kita boleh berjaya seperti idola2 kita itu.. namun masa dan redha Allah yg menentukan.... dan bg yg lemah semangat atau semangatnya cepat pudar, mereka pasti berputus asa..

sebab itulah dalam konteks ini kita haruslah bersederhana dan mulakan dari bawah untuk betul2 menjadikan impian kita ebagai kenyataan dan bukannya hanya angan2.. kita patut menjadikan org2 yg terdekat dgn kita sebagai idola kita selain drpd mempunyai idola tokoh2 besar juga.. kerana dr sudut kejiwaan, kita lebih terdorong terhadap sesuatu yg berada dekat dgn hati dan jiwa kita.. apabila kita telah berjaya melaksanakan aim terdekat, then baru kita melangkah untuk menyempurnakan aim terbesar dlm hidup kita..

ermm.. xtau nak ckp lg lar.. feni ni x pandai nak explain dan huraikan sesuatu perkara tu kat org.. agak terbantut penyampaiannya.. huhu.. yg silap2 tu sorry..
x faham leh tanya.. hahaha...


peace for the world

amigo

peristiwa sepanjang minggu ni byk mengajar penulis blog ni.. ntah lar.. maybe i dont realise it.. but i can felt how much it influence my life.. tiba2 rase mcm nak emo jer..haha
that day, i was talking to my ex-senior..nama dia kak zarina.. dia mmg cun.. haha:)
dia ckp ngan feni yg kawan sejati tu mmg wujud..dia ckp camtu sbb dia dah baca blog feni yg first2 tu.. kan dlm blog tu feni kurang yakin adanya creature yg diberi nama sahabat baik or sahabat sejati..
then i told her that its really hard to find a friend that is really really
care about us..
will not complaining of anything about us..
although we have bad attitudes, mengada2, pelik, annoying,
or what so ever yg usually will make others dislike or hate us..
sometimes u felt that already found that 'person'.. and u just believe it..
but somehow, after time is faded, when the friendship is not growing blossom anymore,
u will find the person that u think is ur life, the person u think ur great bff,
it is not that great anymore..
i'm just telling this because..
yeah, of course u love ur friends maybe more than u ever thought..(i always do that)
but u just cant understand..its very complicated..
okay, u have a friend.. then, he/she is very nice to u..
have been so care about u,
always protected u from ur 'enemies',
she/he always be there for u, whenever u need a shoulder to cry on, whenever u need someone to share ur stories, whenever u need a partner to gossip about others, whenever u need someone that can makes u relief after she/he has the same thoughts like u.. a friend that is always be there for u..
how amazing it is if we can get a friend like that.. maybe we will be the luckiest person in the world and the universe.. Alhamdulillah..

but..cuba korunk fikir mcm mane kalau semua bnda yg kita dah cerita kat dia, suma rahsia, suma perkara yg kita x puas hati, or anything.. pokoknya kita percaya lar kat dia.. dia tu bff kita kan..
tp sebenarnya dia x suka.. tp in front of us, she/he pretends that they have no objection at all about that... setuju jer..

kadang2 feni terfikir, boleh x kawan kita tu terima keadaan kita seadanya.. kita ni x cantik ke, or byk ckp ke, or always talking rubbish ker, always telling something that they dont want to know ke, attitude yg mengada2 n yg buat dorang menyampah ker or anything.. can they just accept us without complaining any single words to us..
mmg lar perangai2 tu x elok, tp bukankah kwn kita spatutnya bagi sesuatu yg dpt membina kita ke arah yg lebih baik, yg boleh guide kita.. bukannya makes us more down or feeling uneasy and makes the problems even worse..
ataupun mungkin kwn kita tu x perlu ckp ape2..just terima keadaan kita yg mmg dr dulu perangai camtu.. yg x kesah kita ni jenis mcm mane...
mmg susah nak cari kwn yg mcm tu..
kawan yg betul2 ikhlas tanpa mengharapkan ape2,
kawan yg betul2 ikhlas nak dgr ape saje yg kita nak cakap,
kawan yg betul2 ikhlas without having any intention at all..
erm....