last words ending the tenure

i dont know whether this is the right time to speak about this matter.. 
but i guess i have to say something..

it was the hardest decision that i have to make as i remembered... if u guys think that i made the decision without considering anything, not it was not. it troubled me for months and even after the decision made i was still unsure of my decisions. i was thinking hard on it. some may be aware on my changes as a result that i was really affected on it.
it concerns on my beloved friend whom i respected and saluted.. he is the best in his work and i cannot deny on his good work and abilities. i cannot be thankful enough on what he has done, his big contributions.. never in my mind to be zalim on him or not giving him what he supposed to get.. because i had a friend, my bestfriend who was also experiencing the same thing 2 years ago.. the most painful thing had happened on him.. org2 lama mesti paham sape yg sy maksudkan dan aware hubungan yg macam mana yg sy ada dgn dia.. logic thinking, xkan sy nk ulang balik kejadian yg sama..

however, i have to be fair with others too. i cannot deny the rights that the others can get too.. i'm doings things according to the procedures and the requirements also syura with others.. everyone on the team given their agreement..

but i believed on qadak and qadar. everything have been determined by Allah. if it is belong to him, surely no matter what happens, its going to be him. if its not belong to him, no matter how i want it to be him, its not going to be happen also without Allah's will. 

and i also know, because of this i lost a meaningful friend to mine. n also know because of this also everyone put a hatred feeling to me that i need to bear and assumed me negatively which some of them are not true. cth talam dua muka, betrayer and other things..

apologies deeply from my heart.. anything that troubled u, please come direct to me. 

thank you.