adakah sy masih dgn pegangan hidup sy lg? adakah niat sy masih sama seperti dahulu?
i still remember long time before, when i was convincing my parents on how i really want to do the things that i really love..
i still remember on how happy i was when dealing with the school kids, gave them small advices, gave them the courage, motivates them.. it makes me happy and satisfied.. thinking on how committed i was 'handling' those kids without thinking that i went there to just have fun, to just hanging out with friends, to just happily 'jalan-jalan'.. yes, i wasnt thinking any of that.
i still remember on how excited i was when hearing that i'm gonna visit 'orang asli' community in kelantan.
i still remember how happy i was to hear those fascinating stories from my friend about those 'orang asli kids'..
even without having any friends to accompany me together to go to that trip to kampung orang asli', i didnt really care about that. why? because i wanted to be there not because of friends or just wanted to kill my leisure time, but there was something i can do for that community, serves them, giving them the love and the attention and to tell them that we are all the same (that was on my mind)..
i still remember when i was serving the elders, the kids, that was the time where i think i have been truly committed on my works.. without having the thought of tired, lazy or intentionally to show off to someone (sometimes people do have that kind of feeling..admits guys..lol.) , i felt like waah that is the greatest feeling i've ever had. not thinking about anything but just to make sure everyone get their shares..
i really miss those kind of feelings, those kinds of thought, those kinds of hard work, where we put Allah to be on top of anything. whatever we did, it is because Allah.
but right now, it is slowly started to dissappear.. i'm really scared that it will going to be happen for real..
i hope it is just my feeling that is being disturbed by Adam's enemy..
lets muhasabah ourselves again.. when we have the correct 'niyyah', insyaAllah everything will be alright.. insyaAllah we will not to be involved in problems with friends, jealousy, hatred, and ect.
